Dear sir or madam as the case may be,

Permit me to introduce myself, i am dr. (Litt.d.,Saddam Hussein University of public relations) 
Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf, minister of information of iraq. You may have seen me on cnn. The progress 
of the war is so satisfactory, as several million infidel troops have killed themselves at the walls 
of baghdad and allah is roasting the stomachs of the rest in hell, that we see no longer any need for press briefings.

I am writing you about a highly urgent and confidential matter. Our president, the delight of the arabs 
and the saladin of the PRESENT age, the honorable Saddam Hussein, places especial trust in your business 
acumen and integrity and further has great gratitude for your staunch support against the schemes of the 
infidels, whose stomachs, as i have said, allah is roasting in hell.

He wishes to acquire your valued assistance in transferring the sum of 300 billion uSD, now held in 
one of his accounts in the peoples bank of Turkmenistan, to an account in your esteemed country. He would 
attend to this matter himself were he not now deeply engaged in appearing at the many spontaneous 
celebrations of victory that have broken out in our country, especially at the syrian border.

For your services in this matter, our president, following the traditional customs of arab hospitality, 
will pay you a processing fee of 75%.

If you are willing to undertake this service for us, you will be made an honorary citizen of iraq 
and converted to islam without further charge. Please reply with all credit card account numbers, 
bank account numbers and associated passwords as a sign of good faith.

I remain your obedient servant, at least on the assumption that you are not an infidel, in which case, 
as your stomach is being roasted in hell, it will be difficult for you to arrange the desired transaction.

Yours,
dr. muhammed saeed al-shaf
Minister of Information
vice chairman, saddam hussein glee club 
(sent in by Sam McCracken)